With Love to H.C Bukowski

"Harmony Reflected" by Jill Shrapel
“Harmony Reflected” by Jill Shrapel

Words by Claire Turner.

In every high school classroom that ever was and will ever be, there is that weird kid. They may not speak very much, but you know they have  something intriguing to say.

Everyone can recall that weird kid in school. They may not have a name but they have a face you will forever  wonder about. Their presence forces you to hold your gaze for an extra while longer, and you are continuously questioning what their deal is exactly. Mystery is bliss!

We all know, far too well, that high school  is difficult for anyone who is the slightest bit different; a  battlefield fight to be accepted by an inner circle. You do everything in your power to avoid being that weird kid who sits at the back of the classroom.

Here is a small piece of wisdom passed on from me to you, whether  you’re that kid or not: being the weird kid in high school is life’s  greatest blessing!

I know first hand how hard, and at times unbearable, it is to be different from your peers, but one of life’s best  kept secrets is that with great lows comes great highs. It’s only after you have seen the darkness that your light can shine all the more intensely when it comes. It will come, believe me, it will come. Far too often the weird kid becomes trapped in the unbearable darkness,  but the light always prevails, you just have to go searching for it. Brace yourself!

I found my intense light through the arts.

For me, artistic creation is the realisation of passion and love becoming something tangible, physical, and communicational. After all,  our fundamental purpose, as human beings, is to produce and communicate our perceptions of the world. What I got out of being that weird kid in high school was the ability to know segregation, in all its forms.

What I felt, thought, understood about people was not a filtered  reflection of what an inner circle taught me to observe correctly and  critically. Of course I am not saying that a limiting social circle is the best way to find your own voice (in fact I refute that entirely and encourage collaboration just as much as I encourage creation), I  merely mean to direct your own sense of self; your ideas, thoughts and feelings towards the world. It helps not have people telling you the right way to think. We are always being told to think for ourselves… What does that even mean?

I don’t have an answer to that statement, but I do have a solution to your mind playing tricks when it’s only you and (her) in a room  together…..Create!

I don’t have any natural talent for creative participation, and maybe never will, but I do it anyway. As if I care about skill! Passion is passion. Point blank. It is not a judging panel to be a better than all the rest. Strum a guitar because you’re  passionate about music. Draw a picture because things are beautiful. Write down words because a world is trapped inside your head and needs to be free! Or where ever your creative passions lay immerse yourself in it, because nothing will ever feel the way a pursuit of passion does.

I put this to you, my favourite quote of all time and which will be imprinted onto my gravestone;

“My Dear,

Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual  nothingness. Let it devour you remains.

For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.

Falsely yours,

Henry Charles Bukowski ”


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *