Untitled, from the series Anxiety, 2016 © Weronika Perlowska, courtesy FOCUS Photography Festival, 2017
Everyone likes a nice person. No matter what, no matter how ‘weird’ or ‘different’ they are. It’s always remembered that they are nice. They accept everyone for who they are, and so are accepted themselves for who they are by other nice people. Nice people help each other, they don’t judge someone for struggling, because they’ve usually struggled themselves. They’ll do anything for other people, they help, they support, and they don’t except anything in return. Their selfless and loving.
I am not a nice person. I judge and so feel judged, even when I’m not. Is it fair to say my anxiety makes me rude? I’m so inside of myself and clouded by my insecurities. My insecurities make me rude, unintentionally! I’m afraid to be nice? Being nice leaves the possibility of rejection, while being rude eliminates that possibility, because your the one rejecting other people, leaving them no chance to reject you. But in reality, why would someone reject you if you’re nice? Why does my brain immediately assume they would? Rejecting other people is even worst then being rejected, because then the only one you have to blame is yourself, and you just constantly feel bad. Also, you usually reject the people you most want a relationship with, because their the ones who’s rejection towards you would hurt the most, so you try to avoid that hurt feeling. But you don’t, you just make it worse! The hardest part is that people don’t realise that you’re literally crying inside as you’re being a snob, hating yourself every second of it. They think you’re choosing to be that way. That you’re just generally a bitch. But you’re not. I’m not! I promise.
Article inspire by Anxiety Makes You Look Like An Asshole by Holly Riordan.