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Poem feature

Weekly poem feature: Mathew Bell

EULOGY OF MY LIVING BROTHER

 

Adain was always a believer of God; perhaps he needed someone to blame,

for his mistakes and decisions defined, the man that he became.

I never tried to change his mind but one night he asked my thoughts,

“If there’s no God then why be good?” he questioned like those before.

His response became aggressive, when I replied, “to help others”.

He responded, “Fuck those cunts” and threatened, double-crossers.

 

Adain grew up in Cairns, a beautiful, multicultural place,

Perth is where he spent his adulthood, where it was “tough” to pick on race.

A few slurs here, stereotypes, discrimination and terms of hate,

Adain slurred his words so much; you’d think drinking was his faith.

This act of being fierce and commenting negatively on other’s traits,

distracted all his fears, his insecurities were replaced.

 

But I’m not here to pick on Adain and I’m sure he wouldn’t like it,

he’d probably be expecting this tribute to be a little more united.

Adain has had an interesting experience, one of lower middle class.

Abandoned by his parents, left a generation gap inside his heart.

He never finished school, for it was an income he had to earn,

trade was his profession baking bread became returns.

Then he started cutting steel but still something was absent,

his reasonable life of labour saw friends that came with hazards.

 

Drugs, alcohol and violence he took notice of his behavior,

he wanted out of the lifestyle when his companion had gave labor.

The couple would fight and argue, leaving Adain scarred and bitter,

but a newborn goal gave him so much more to reconsider.

 

Eventually the couple split, and a course of custody commenced,

when Adain sees his kin, a parental personality presents.

He becomes kind and caring, he laughs and plays all day,

singing songs of gum trees and teaching him to write his name.

After his son leaves, Adain suppresses a hatred for the past,

self-medicating with alcohol, he mumbles spiteful remarks.

It’s him against the world, everyone’s out to see him struggle,

But try to offer advice and he uses threats as a rebuttal.

 

Adain began to study, Centrelink had forged his path,

a ten-week course had caused him to concentrate on task.

He seemed confident and committed but excuses held him back,

His mental health diminished and he again fell off track.

He avoided looking weak and pretended to be strong,

love was what he needed but his perspective was prolonged.

 

Adain was a simple human trying to understand the world,

confused and frustrated, separated from his soul.

He needed to be grateful. He neglected what he had,

Adain lived a lonely life, lingering on time elapsed.

I hope he can move on and find a better place,

I want my brother to gain peace and finally be safe.

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